Meaning Well?
Haven't posted much since I got back because there wasn't much to say. Bad days, good days for breathing. Good days, bad days for balance. One last Sahara Dust wave, and one volcano belch. Me wheezing and sneezing while doing minimal housework.
Some of the few things I returned with:
Today I went to church with my dearest friend here, just to do a running inventory on the tee shirts she and Jim sell. I hate that church. The time I attended there were 8 or 9 dogs and I reacted terribly to the dander. Today was the same except it was a mere two dogs and the owners kept them out of the actual church part, seeking to stand between the kitchen and were the tee shirt sales table is. Itching and witching, sneezing and wheezing.
A nice man I'd just met early in the day over the coffee pot came up and started talking to me as I was putting up the tees, and another lady wandered up. I am not sure who said what but it came out that we'd all visited and loved a certain church that has their yearly conference with the word "Fire" in the title. I haven't attended in ages, and still feel that was merely for a season, not forever. He reached over at one point, grasped my hand and started doing all that ridiculous demonic deliverance praying codswallop I absolutely hate!
Do they think I never had heard of miraculous healing? That I'd never gotten prayer? Heck, I have gotten stupid hours and hours worth of prayer at those conferences, this church or that church, this or that ministry and de nada happened.
Let me take that back. Something DID happen. Especially in the wake of being pressured to give up drugs that were holding my lung/immunio problems down to a dull roar way, way, WAY before my mastocytosis was diagnosed. Tossing all meds and devices at the orders of some silly healing ministry pastor had an effect - I got much worse and then at deaths door after having to start the meds again it got worse and worse. So many silly ER visits and then I got my diagnosis after getting in to see a critical care lung doctor who had seen and treated mastocytosis before.
I MADE MYSELF WORSE BY LISTENING TO FOLKS BETHEL-REDDING ADJACENT!
So here I am, pinned in between two people I just met invading my space and inflicting that same shitty healing ministry flim-flam on me. Had to bite my tongue because my brain was instantaneously filled with obscenities I longed to shout from the rooftops. Fire and fury!
But I stayed mild, let him finish then told him the truth of my life and my relationship with Christian healing ministries - 'God knows who I am, where I am, and what my needs are. He can heal me any time He wants.' My point being that I didn't need whatever it was he thought he was doing. I reject that hot garbage hard now. I've seen too many die from it, instead of taking medical treatments or doctors advice they trail from healing ministry to healing ministry before eventually dying. Some were from things easy to treat medically.
It is a special kind of wacko egotism that folks horn in uninvited to beg for healings for you that you didn't even request. It is an especial kind of fucked up boundary crossing by a narcissistic individual. Still cheesed off here that another Evangelical thought he knew what I needed. Oh knitter please! Go away...
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